But what about those of us who don't? What about people whose identity fluctuates, based on the social contexts they are in? What about the people who make choices not to follow desires, because it would be too hard for them, for whatever reason? Desire is frequently confusing. Ever been attracted to someone, then freaked out when their gender is different from what matches your monosexual identity? If you're a straight woman or a gay man who fancies Justin Bieber you might not want to click on the link.
And I've never - before or after I came out - fallen in love with a man. Never actually even that close. Some people would no doubt argue that makes me "really" lesbian. I know many lesbians who would and do describe their desires quite similarly to mine, but we identify differently because desire, lust and love are complicated things that mean different things to different people.
I imagine those who post the clip above to their FB pages do so because their sexuality experiences/struggles are not complex and complicated. I fit into this category. I am lesbian on a scale so extreme that it has never been a matter of choice. Those of us who sit on this part of the continuum (or love someone who does) will always post clips like this because it reflects our truth and thats ok. I realise this isn't the case for all but then I'm sure like yourself, they would choose not to share. The complicating parts for me were in coming out to a world and family where being a lesbian was illegal and detested.Yvie
Hey Yvie,my friends who have been posting this are mostly (though not exclusively) straight, interestingly enough - and thoughtful about sexuality obviously. But I take your point about your truth, and also about the complicated part of coming out. Thanks for sharing, LJ
But what about those of us who don't? What about people whose identity fluctuates, based on the social contexts they are in? What about the people who make choices not to follow desires, because it would be too hard for them, for whatever reason? Desire is frequently confusing. Ever been attracted to someone, then freaked out when their gender is different from what matches your monosexual identity? If you're a straight woman or a gay man who fancies Justin Bieber you might not want to click on the link.
And I've never - before or after I came out - fallen in love with a man. Never actually even that close. Some people would no doubt argue that makes me "really" lesbian. I know many lesbians who would and do describe their desires quite similarly to mine, but we identify differently because desire, lust and love are complicated things that mean different things to different people.
I
 imagine those who post the clip above to their FB pages do so because their sexuality experiences/struggles are not complex and complicated. I fit into this category. I am lesbian on a scale so extreme that it has never been a matter of choice. Those of us who sit on this part of the continuum (or love someone who does) will always post clips like this because it reflects our truth and thats ok. I realise this isn't the case for all but then I'm sure like yourself, they would choose not to share. The complicating parts for me were in coming out to a world and family where being a lesbian was illegal and detested.Yvie
Hey Yvie,my friends who have been posting this are mostly (though not exclusively) straight, interestingly enough - and thoughtful about sexuality obviously. But I take your point about your truth, and also about the complicated part of coming out. Thanks for sharing, LJ