Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em! - Airliners.net
Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!
Sat Mar 09, 2002 10:04 am
Alright, all of us have encountered at least ONE passenger that makes a complete fool of his/herself. Or, says something really idiotic, etc. If its funny, outlandish, leud, whatever. Lets hear them. This has been done before, but I can't finda recent thread on it. So, start it up. Top
RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!
Sat Mar 09, 2002 10:11 am
Btw at check-in at Heathrow they took my Gran's nailclippers off her. I would love to know how a frail 86 year old with a broken arm could take over a plane with nailclippers. She would have struggled to clip her nails with them. I know there are no exceptions but I still thought it was funny.
Sat Mar 09, 2002 10:14 am
I watched as a man told his wife that the aircraft pulling up to a gate at Port Columbus was a DC-8. The aircraft was an America West Express Canadair Regional Jet. Top
Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:39 am
I watched as a woman told his husband that the aircraft pulling up to a gate at Port Columbus was a 747. The aircraft was a COex. B1900.
er, HER husband
Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:44 am
I saw a woman at the Scranton airshow ask someone if they actually flew a C5 transport to the airshow that was on static display. Duh how else would they get it there?? Drive it??
Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:48 am
Years ago I was on a plant tour at a major airframer. I had been on this tour many a time since my pop worked there. Well, they were showing us a wing box/jig and explaining why they were applying epoxy to ensure it is leak proof. Tour guide goes on about how the wing is actually where all the fuel is stored. Some woman then blurted out "What happens if the wing falls off? Is there gas in both wings? Won't the plane run out of gas?..."
Sat Mar 09, 2002 12:14 pm
Flight from PDX to PHX. This wacked out guy must have used the lav about 15 times on a 2-1/2 hour flight. He was wearing green sweat pants, a red shirt, and he looked only a half notch below insane. I couldn't wait for him to try something stupid so I could sack him. Top
Sat Mar 09, 2002 1:22 pm
Sat Mar 09, 2002 1:31 pm
Sat Mar 09, 2002 1:59 pm
I don't know where he thought that up that I could be psychic and know that a plane was going to crash, but I have never seen a bunch of Q-tips drive that fast out of somewhere in my life. It was a wierd trip, a lot of other strange and funny things happened on that drive down, but all others were non aviation related.
Sat Mar 09, 2002 3:53 pm
Sat Mar 09, 2002 4:03 pm
I was on a DL 767-300 flying from CVG-ATL several years ago & the Captain came on the PA to give us an update on our eta & the weather at ATL. As soon as the captain says Atlanta this business guy several seats over in my row starts saying "Atlanta? What the f***? This flight is going to LAX right?" Everyone started looking at him funny & I remembered that at the same time we were boarding another DL 767-300 was boarding for LAX at the very next gate in the corner at the end of the concourse at CVG. This guy got in the wrong line & somehow got on the wrong flight & didn't realize it untill we were half way to ATL. The head flight attendant calmed him down assuring him that DL would make arrangements for him to catch an ATL-LAX flight when we arrived at ATL. I couldn't help thinking "what an idiot" as the FA's & captain had several times announced the flight number & destination prior to pushback & I guess the guy didn't catch on that he was on the wrong flight.
Around 8:00am on the morning of 9-11 as I was waiting to board DL571 at CVG (at a gate right across from the gates mentioned in the above earlier incident) a guy was telling his girlfriend (pointing to the 767-300 that was operating the flight) that it was a DC-10. I sure wish the guy's stupid comment had turned out to be the most memorable part of that flight & that day.
Sat Mar 09, 2002 4:43 pm
Overheard a guy at an airshow point out a B-1 and proceded to tell his wife all about the wonders of the F-16.
Sat Mar 09, 2002 6:18 pm
An elderly couple were waiting for AirMalta flight 101 when this B737 taxied in from another flight and parked right infront of us in the viewing gallery. The lady asked the man if this was the flight and the man said:
"No, stupid, this is flight 737. It's written on the plane. Look !!" (Boeing 737 written on the cowl)
On the same day a middle aged man and his mother were watching a plane climbing out. The woman was surprised at how high the plane was going but her son assured her that it will go lower as it passed the hill !!
Sat Mar 09, 2002 6:32 pm
This is not a passenger story but I had two airplanes in MCO when one went to take off and lose a engine on his takeoff roll. So the captain brings the airplane back to the gate were I proceeded to call the gate agent that we were going to combine the flight but not to board the plane till I call her back and let her know how many people we can. Well about two minutes later I get a phone call from the captain and he tells me that the gate agent went ahead and loaded all the passengers into the one good plane in which case she got a very nastey phone call from me and we had to deplane the whole plane and do it all over again.
Sat Mar 09, 2002 6:39 pm
Sat Mar 09, 2002 9:41 pm
Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:04 pm
Both these incidents happened in Malta and to AirMalta.
Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:18 pm
Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:43 pm
Because the airplane holds 119 people and she triedto put them all on the airplane and it was 737-200 with -9 engines in the middle of summer and performance wise we couldn't take that many people.
Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:02 am
Note, the passenger was indeed connecting trough BRU from Africa but had an ankle broken.
Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:15 am
This lady almost ruined my night. I was on an HP flight from PHX-LAS, and we were already late pushing back. This lady comes on with her dog in a carrier, and couldn't fit it under her seat, so she decided she was going to hold it. WRONG! The F/A's finally said she couldn't be on the flight without buying a seat for the dog, so she gets off (she's really ticked at this point). They hold the plane 20 mins, and finally she gets back on with the dog, and she bought it a seat. I think most of us were angry that they held the plane like that. Which made my almost miss my connection (last one for the night) to MCO. THey had the door shut to the gateway and almsot didn't let me on.
I don't think this qualifies as dumb, but on a trip from IAH to PHX last summer I looked over at a guy with his head down and a gigantic strand of drool going from his mouth to his lap. We were in first class and had not even pushed back yet. Guess he was tired.
Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:56 am
I dont know if it qualifies for "dumbest passenger" but it would definitely go in with the "how to scare the sh** out of other passengers" pile.
A friend of mine was flying Qantas from Melbourne to Los Angeles on a QF 744. He's a regular traveler with a good knowledge of aviation. He was listening to the people sitting infront of them when one of the 2 (another regular traveler) looks out the window at the wings and how they are bending during turbulence. This guy looks at his friend (who's never flown before) and says "look at the wing, they're meant to bend a bit but this much is far from normal" The guy sat there for the next 10 mins white as a ghost until his mate finally tell's him it was normal for the wings to flex and bend the way they were.
Sun Mar 10, 2002 1:57 am
An elderly couple once told us that we were not good pilots because we hit turbulence. At first I felt like defending myself, but then realized it wasn't worth the effort.
Sun Mar 10, 2002 1:58 am
Greg, that reminds me of another one. A pap asks this FA show the pilot finds his way in the dark. The Fa answers that as long as we are between "those lights out there" we are OK. The FA was referring to the white wing tip lights of a B737.
The pap seemed surprised but happy with the answer.
I was on a flight a few years ago from DFW-SLC, an AA MD-80, when we ran into the typical Rocky Mountain turbulence. The captain made his annoucement and the seat belt sign went on. No big deal I thought. Well a few minutes later a elderly gentleman got up out of his seat and hobbled his way to the bathroom by the aft galley. Still no big deal right. Well about this time the old man got into the lav we started getting jostled pretty good. The kinda turbulence that spills drinks etc. Then the strangest sound started coming from the lav. Bang, Bang Thud Bang Thud. This continued for about 3 or 4 minutes. Finally the banging stopped and the door to the lav opened to reveal a old man with a bloody noise and a flask of alcohol (I assume). I guess the old man was pretty toasted and kept losing his footing in the turbulence. Banging around in there like a pinball. Top
A couple of good ones off the top of my head:
I was at ATL in the departure lounge waiting to board my DL L-1011 (sigh) to LAX. The ship was registered N727DA. I overheard a dad telling his kid, "Oh look, it's a 727, it says so on the tail!".
The second one occurred on an Air Inter A300. An elderly lady was seated across the aisle from me. After eating her lunch (bless the French, who are going to eat well, even on a one hour hop), she proceeded to stow her tray table ..... the problem was, her tray was still on it! The whole mess tumbled onto the floor, and a racket ensued, not only from the glassware and wine bottle, but from the f/a who couldn't believe what she was seeing. To this day I have no idea what caused 'grandemere' to precipitate this drama, though 'le vin rouge' is a good suspect.
Several years ago when GARUDA still flew to the
USA, we had a backpacker type stick his foot through
a vent and loose his shoe. Then he had the
idioticity to file a claim with us because we lost his
Back in 1986 I think, I was at MCO and this woman and her daughter were watching a People Express 727-200 taking of for Newark. The daughter says to the mother, "See how fast the plane is going now? That's how fast it goes all the way to Newark!"
LMML, best explanation of aerial navigation I've heard - I'll make sure to remember that one! Here's a typical charter pax to the Med, arriving at the gate five minutes after last boarding call since they HAD to down a last drink in the airport bar:
"Uuuuh... passport... I think it's in my suitcase.... Yeah, I sent that off. You mean I need it here?... the color o the suitcase? I think it is red... or blue... or maybe green..."
Also called the "how to delay a flight by an hour and make sure the handlers don't get any lunch" routine. I often wished for them to be called down to look for their bags. I won't mention why as it probably would be illegal. Cheers,
Sun Mar 10, 2002 9:52 am
on wednesday when i took nw 67 to detroit, this white guy from a small town around knoxville tennesee, sits next to me and tells me that he bought a 4 day airplane ticket just to go to ansterdam and smoke weed legally...
quite a character, isnt he?
Covert: and you wonder WHY Northwest and Detroit have 4-5 daily Amsterdam flights??? heh.
These are some funny ones!
I remember once spotting at the GRR (Grand Rapids, MI)
viewing area before they closed it after 9-11, a father and his two sons were looking at a CoEx Emb145 from Newark taxi off the runway, to the gate area. The son exclaims "dad! That one is HUGE!!" pointing at the CoEx 145, and the father begins to explain all there is to know about the Airbus A320.
It never stops bein funny.............
Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:26 pm
Here's a couple I got while checking paxs in:
This one lady she must have been in her early 40's, she asked me to give her a safe seat, so if the airplane goes down she will live.
Another one was this guy was checking in for his flight, he asked me if this was a bus. I go to him "sir your at an airport, your flying on an airplane". This guy freaked out, he is like I am not traveling on an airplane, my brother told me this was a bus service, so he was like what kind of service is this, and he left the airport.
I was on a Southwest flight, when a man decides that it's time to get up and get his bag after landing. We were still on the runway doing about 40 knots getting close to the nearest high-speed turnoff. The guy gets his bag and sits down, leaving the overhead bin open, all while a flight attendant is about 3 rows behind him. After it was safe, the flight attendant stormed over, saying in a pissed voice "Sir, you're going to have to put that away." She grabbed the bag, and put it in the bin and closed it. The whole cabin laughed/clapped, but the guy was so stupid/drunk, he didnt care/realize. After the flight, he decided to get up and leave before anyone gets up. The whole cabin cuts him off, making him the last person or so to get off.
Sun Mar 10, 2002 9:57 pm
a) At Newark in March 96 preparing to board my Air South 737-200 I hear a man tell his wife "We're on a old Air South DC-10."
b) I went with a crew from my C-21 squadron to a air show in Trenton, Canada. One of my duties was to stay with the plane while the pilots go wandering about for hours while I was left with the keys to the plane and to answer all those questions like " Are those missiles on the wings?" referring to the Tip Tanks on the Lear 35!
Last July, on board GA's A333 from BNE to DPS, I was having a conversation with two gentlemen from Brisbane, next to the galley, around door 2R.... They drank a lot of liquor, even one of them brought his own bottle aboard. None of them were drunk, though......
There was a junior stewardess who was inside the galley, and when she saw my 2 colleagues drank, she said to me in Indonesian," Can you please ask your friends to go back to their seats. I'm affraid that once they drunk, they will open the door....."
I know that the door cannot be opened in flight, but rather than argued to her, I complied with her request..
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Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em! - Airliners.net
Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!
Sat Mar 09, 2002 10:04 am
Alright, all of us have encountered at least ONE passenger that makes a complete fool of his/herself. Or, says something really idiotic, etc. If its funny, outlandish, leud, whatever. Lets hear them. This has been done before, but I can't finda recent thread on it. So, start it up. Top
RE: Your Dumbest Passenger Stories! Lets Hear 'em!
Sat Mar 09, 2002 10:11 am
Btw at check-in at Heathrow they took my Gran's nailclippers off her. I would love to know how a frail 86 year old with a broken arm could take over a plane with nailclippers. She would have struggled to clip her nails with them. I know there are no exceptions but I still thought it was funny.
Sat Mar 09, 2002 10:14 am
I watched as a man told his wife that the aircraft pulling up to a gate at Port Columbus was a DC-8. The aircraft was an America West Express Canadair Regional Jet. Top
Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:39 am
I watched as a woman told his husband that the aircraft pulling up to a gate at Port Columbus was a 747. The aircraft was a COex. B1900.
er, HER husband
Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:44 am
I saw a woman at the Scranton airshow ask someone if they actually flew a C5 transport to the airshow that was on static display. Duh how else would they get it there?? Drive it??
Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:48 am
Years ago I was on a plant tour at a major airframer. I had been on this tour many a time since my pop worked there. Well, they were showing us a wing box/jig and explaining why they were applying epoxy to ensure it is leak proof. Tour guide goes on about how the wing is actually where all the fuel is stored. Some woman then blurted out "What happens if the wing falls off? Is there gas in both wings? Won't the plane run out of gas?..."
Sat Mar 09, 2002 12:14 pm
Flight from PDX to PHX. This wacked out guy must have used the lav about 15 times on a 2-1/2 hour flight. He was wearing green sweat pants, a red shirt, and he looked only a half notch below insane. I couldn't wait for him to try something stupid so I could sack him. Top
Sat Mar 09, 2002 1:22 pm
Sat Mar 09, 2002 1:31 pm
Sat Mar 09, 2002 1:59 pm
I don't know where he thought that up that I could be psychic and know that a plane was going to crash, but I have never seen a bunch of Q-tips drive that fast out of somewhere in my life. It was a wierd trip, a lot of other strange and funny things happened on that drive down, but all others were non aviation related.
Sat Mar 09, 2002 3:53 pm
Sat Mar 09, 2002 4:03 pm
I was on a DL 767-300 flying from CVG-ATL several years ago & the Captain came on the PA to give us an update on our eta & the weather at ATL. As soon as the captain says Atlanta this business guy several seats over in my row starts saying "Atlanta? What the f***? This flight is going to LAX right?" Everyone started looking at him funny & I remembered that at the same time we were boarding another DL 767-300 was boarding for LAX at the very next gate in the corner at the end of the concourse at CVG. This guy got in the wrong line & somehow got on the wrong flight & didn't realize it untill we were half way to ATL. The head flight attendant calmed him down assuring him that DL would make arrangements for him to catch an ATL-LAX flight when we arrived at ATL. I couldn't help thinking "what an idiot" as the FA's & captain had several times announced the flight number & destination prior to pushback & I guess the guy didn't catch on that he was on the wrong flight.
Around 8:00am on the morning of 9-11 as I was waiting to board DL571 at CVG (at a gate right across from the gates mentioned in the above earlier incident) a guy was telling his girlfriend (pointing to the 767-300 that was operating the flight) that it was a DC-10. I sure wish the guy's stupid comment had turned out to be the most memorable part of that flight & that day.
Sat Mar 09, 2002 4:43 pm
Overheard a guy at an airshow point out a B-1 and proceded to tell his wife all about the wonders of the F-16.
Sat Mar 09, 2002 6:18 pm
An elderly couple were waiting for AirMalta flight 101 when this B737 taxied in from another flight and parked right infront of us in the viewing gallery. The lady asked the man if this was the flight and the man said:
"No, stupid, this is flight 737. It's written on the plane. Look !!" (Boeing 737 written on the cowl)
On the same day a middle aged man and his mother were watching a plane climbing out. The woman was surprised at how high the plane was going but her son assured her that it will go lower as it passed the hill !!
Sat Mar 09, 2002 6:32 pm
This is not a passenger story but I had two airplanes in MCO when one went to take off and lose a engine on his takeoff roll. So the captain brings the airplane back to the gate were I proceeded to call the gate agent that we were going to combine the flight but not to board the plane till I call her back and let her know how many people we can. Well about two minutes later I get a phone call from the captain and he tells me that the gate agent went ahead and loaded all the passengers into the one good plane in which case she got a very nastey phone call from me and we had to deplane the whole plane and do it all over again.
Sat Mar 09, 2002 6:39 pm
Sat Mar 09, 2002 9:41 pm
Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:04 pm
Both these incidents happened in Malta and to AirMalta.
Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:18 pm
Sat Mar 09, 2002 11:43 pm
Because the airplane holds 119 people and she triedto put them all on the airplane and it was 737-200 with -9 engines in the middle of summer and performance wise we couldn't take that many people.
Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:02 am
Note, the passenger was indeed connecting trough BRU from Africa but had an ankle broken.
Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:15 am
This lady almost ruined my night. I was on an HP flight from PHX-LAS, and we were already late pushing back. This lady comes on with her dog in a carrier, and couldn't fit it under her seat, so she decided she was going to hold it. WRONG! The F/A's finally said she couldn't be on the flight without buying a seat for the dog, so she gets off (she's really ticked at this point). They hold the plane 20 mins, and finally she gets back on with the dog, and she bought it a seat. I think most of us were angry that they held the plane like that. Which made my almost miss my connection (last one for the night) to MCO. THey had the door shut to the gateway and almsot didn't let me on.
I don't think this qualifies as dumb, but on a trip from IAH to PHX last summer I looked over at a guy with his head down and a gigantic strand of drool going from his mouth to his lap. We were in first class and had not even pushed back yet. Guess he was tired.
Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:56 am
I dont know if it qualifies for "dumbest passenger" but it would definitely go in with the "how to scare the sh** out of other passengers" pile.
A friend of mine was flying Qantas from Melbourne to Los Angeles on a QF 744. He's a regular traveler with a good knowledge of aviation. He was listening to the people sitting infront of them when one of the 2 (another regular traveler) looks out the window at the wings and how they are bending during turbulence. This guy looks 
at his friend (who's never flown before) and says "look at the wing, they're meant to bend a bit but this much is far from normal" The guy sat there for the next 10 mins white as a ghost until his mate finally tell's him it was normal for the wings to flex and bend the way they were.
Sun Mar 10, 2002 1:57 am
An elderly couple once told us that we were not good pilots because we hit turbulence. At first I felt like defending myself, but then realized it wasn't worth the effort.
Sun Mar 10, 2002 1:58 am
Greg, that reminds me of another one. A pap asks this FA show the pilot finds his way in the dark. The Fa answers that as long as we are between "those lights out there" we are OK. The FA was referring to the white wing tip lights of a B737.
The pap seemed surprised but happy with the answer.
I was on a flight a few years ago from DFW-SLC, an AA MD-80, when we ran into the typical Rocky Mountain turbulence. The captain made his annoucement and the seat belt sign went on. No big deal I thought. Well a few minutes later a elderly gentleman got up out of his seat and hobbled his way to the bathroom by the aft galley. Still no big deal right. Well about this time the old man got into the lav we started getting jostled pretty good. The kinda turbulence that spills drinks etc. Then the strangest sound started coming from the lav. Bang, Bang Thud Bang Thud. This continued for about 3 or 4 minutes. Finally the banging stopped and the door to the lav opened to reveal a old man with a bloody noise and a flask of alcohol (I assume). I guess the old man was pretty toasted and kept losing his footing in the turbulence. Banging around in there like a pinball. Top
A couple of good ones off the top of my head:
I was at ATL in the departure lounge waiting to board my DL L-1011 (sigh) to LAX. The ship was registered N727DA. I overheard a dad telling his kid, "Oh look, it's a 727, it says so on the tail!".
The second one occurred on an Air Inter A300. An elderly lady was seated across the aisle from me. After eating her lunch (bless the French, who are going to eat well, even on a one hour hop), she proceeded to stow her tray table ..... the problem was, her tray was still on it! The whole mess tumbled onto the floor, and a racket ensued, not only from the glassware and wine bottle, but from the f/a who couldn't believe what she was seeing. To this day I have no idea what caused 'grandemere' to precipitate this drama, though 'le vin rouge' is a good suspect.
Several years ago when GARUDA still flew to the
USA, we had a backpacker type stick his foot through
a vent and loose his shoe. Then he had the
idioticity to file a claim with us because we lost his
Back in 1986 I think, I was at MCO and this woman and her daughter were watching a People Express 727-200 taking of for Newark. The daughter says to the mother, "See how fast the plane is going now? That's how fast it goes all the way to Newark!"
LMML, best explanation of aerial navigation I've heard - I'll make sure to remember that one! Here's a typical charter pax to the Med, arriving at the gate five minutes after last boarding call since they HAD to down a last drink in the airport bar:
"Uuuuh... passport... I think it's in my suitcase.... Yeah, I sent that off. You mean I need it here?... the color o the suitcase? I think it is red... or blue... or maybe green..."
Also called the "how to delay a flight by an hour and make sure the handlers don't get any lunch" routine. I often wished for them to be called down to look for their bags. I won't mention why as it probably would be illegal. Cheers,
Sun Mar 10, 2002 9:52 am
on wednesday when i took nw 67 to detroit, this white guy from a small town around knoxville tennesee, sits next to me and tells me that he bought a 4 day airplane ticket just to go to ansterdam and smoke weed legally...
quite a character, isnt he?
Covert: and you wonder WHY Northwest and Detroit have 4-5 daily Amsterdam flights??? heh.
These are some funny ones!
I remember once spotting at the GRR (Grand Rapids, MI)
viewing area before they closed it after 9-11, a father and his two sons were looking at a CoEx Emb145 from Newark taxi off the runway, to the gate area. The son exclaims "dad! That one is HUGE!!" pointing at the CoEx 145, and the father begins to explain all there is to know about the Airbus A320.
It never stops bein funny.............
Sun Mar 10, 2002 12:26 pm
Here's a couple I got while checking paxs in:
This one lady she must have been in her early 40's, she asked me to give her a safe seat, so if the airplane goes down she will live.
Another one was this guy was checking in for his flight, he asked me if this was a bus. I go to him "sir your at an airport, your flying on an airplane". This guy freaked out, he is like I am not traveling on an airplane, my brother told me this was a bus service, so he was like what kind of service is this, and he left the airport.
I was on a Southwest flight, when a man decides that it's time to get up and get his bag after landing. We were still on the runway doing about 40 knots getting close to the nearest high-speed turnoff. The guy gets his bag and sits down, leaving the overhead bin open, all while a flight attendant is about 3 rows behind him. After it was safe, the flight attendant stormed over, saying in a pissed voice "Sir, you're going to have to put that away." She grabbed the bag, and put it in the bin and closed it. The whole cabin laughed/clapped, but the guy was so stupid/drunk, he didnt care/realize. After the flight, he decided to get up and leave before anyone gets up. The whole cabin cuts him off, making him the last person or so to get off.
Sun Mar 10, 2002 9:57 pm
a) At Newark in March 96 preparing to board my Air South 737-200 I hear a man tell his wife "We're on a old Air South DC-10."
b) I went with a crew from my C-21 squadron to a air show in Trenton, Canada. One of my duties was to stay with the plane while the pilots go wandering about for hours while I was left with the keys to the plane and to answer all those questions like " Are those missiles on the wings?" referring to the Tip Tanks on the Lear 35!
Last July, on board GA's A333 from BNE to DPS, I was having a conversation with two gentlemen from Brisbane, next to the galley, around door 2R.... They drank a lot of liquor, even one of them brought his own bottle aboard. None of them were drunk, though......
There was a junior stewardess who was inside the galley, and when she saw my 2 colleagues drank, she said to me in Indonesian," Can you please ask your friends to go back to their seats. I'm affraid that once they drunk, they will open the door....."
I know that the door cannot be opened in flight, but rather than argued to her, I complied with her request..
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