The Digital Hairshirt: Unhappy Papa
This picture taken yesterday made the DigiHusband sad.It made him sad because it demonstrated how his little girl is growing up, and the next thing you know, there could be boys coming around, and so now he is going to buy a shotgun.The DigiHusband is not ready to accept the fact that the kids don't remain small forever. Especially daughters.
They go from Barbies to boobies in about 2 seconds if you blink. Hopefully she hasn't passed the "pony" stage. i.e. the object of her affections still walk on 4 legs rather than two.Otherwise, "look out." I think she's going to be devastingly beautiful. It wouldn't surprise me if the boys in her class are already throwing erasers at her.
To keep her small just give her lots of coffee cigarettes. To handle the boys just give Pope Optimus Prime a bounty for every one he runs off.
Fuggedabout the shotgun.Buy a nice shiny black semi-auto handgun.Have DigiHusband sitting at the kitchen table, cleaning said weapon, when The New Boyfriend comes to call.Have Digihusband loudly query whether said New Boyfriend can run faster than 965 feet per second.Invite Boyfriend to inspect the business end of a hollowpoint 9mm and explain how that bullet spreads open (just like a flower) on impact with flesh.It worked for me!!
This, then, may become Digidaddy's favorite song in the coming years:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjO9kX4npVYOddly enough, my antispam word was hunchePat R.
Oh dear. Tell him not to blink. The time will fly and you'll both be agonizing and scowling by turns before you know it. Lemme tell ya, I've aged 2 years in the past 2 months with the Princess. But take heart - there's room in the hangar for another Heloparent.(Verification word = "after"....hang on to "before" for as long as you can!)
She IS one very beautiful girl--it's just a matter of time--watch out dad!
The Digital Hairshirt: Unhappy Papa
This picture taken yesterday made the DigiHusband sad.It made him sad because it demonstrated how his little girl is growing up, and the next thing you know, there could be boys coming around, and so now he is going to buy a shotgun.The DigiHusband is not ready to accept the fact that the kids don't remain small forever. Especially daughters.
They go from Barbies to boobies in about 2 seconds if you blink. Hopefully she hasn't passed the "pony" stage. i.e. the object of her affections still walk on 4 legs rather than two.Otherwise, "look out." I think she's going to be devastingly beautiful. It wouldn't surprise me if the boys in her class are already throwing erasers at her.
To keep her small just give her lots of coffee cigarettes. To handle the boys just give Pope Optimus Prime a bounty for every one he runs off.
Fuggedabout the shotgun.Buy a nice shiny black semi-auto handgun.Have D
igiHusband sitting at the kitchen table, cleaning said weapon, when The New Boyfriend comes to call.Have Digihusband loudly query whether said New Boyfriend can run faster than 965 feet per second.Invite Boyfriend to inspect the business end of a hollowpoint 9mm and explain how that bullet spreads open (just like a flower) on impact with flesh.It worked for me!!
This, then, may become Digidaddy's favorite song in the coming years:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjO9kX4npVYOddly enough, my antispam word was hunchePat R.
Oh dear. Tell him not to blink. The time will fly and you'll both be agonizing and scowling by turns before you know it. Lemme tell ya, I've aged 2 years in the past 2 months with the Princess. But take heart - there's room in the hangar for another Heloparent.(Verification word = "after"....hang on to "before" for as long as you can!)
She IS one very beautiful girl--it's just a matter of time--watch out dad!