Should I have punched my father? - The Student Room
Should I have punched my father? watch
30-04-2016 04:58
My mother has a heart condition where she's facing having to have a pacemaker put in. It's the same heart condition that killed her dad.
Today, she had a serious heart arrhythmia and minor arrest, and I came in to help, my dad says "I'll be there in a minute".
When the episode is over, he comes in around 5 minutes later after he's finished his sports program, and says "eh, **** off, just take a chill pill, I'm going to bed."
It was the closest I've come to decking him. Unfortunately, there's still something instinctive there that stops me doing so ever since I knackered his shoulder once during an argument and it hasn't been the same since.
I'm torn. On one hand, I don't want to hurt my dad. On the other hand, I feel like he's just waiting for my mum to die, and doesn't give a crap. It makes me so angry.
You're young. He's learned a lot about life in his time. The idea of asserting authority onto your father is quite obscene really. Just keep helping your mother and reduce your interactions with your father until he lightens up.
30-04-2016 05:51
Actually I'm a graduate and the only reason I moved back home for a while was to take care of my mother because she called to say that she was scared for her health and couldn't trust him to call an ambulance when she has a heart attack.
He's been this way for the last 5 years, at least.
30-04-2016 05:58
Sounds like a desperate attempt to stop you leaving the nest tbh.
If he doesnt call an ambulance he'd be arrested for manslaughter so it does seem like an attempt to keep you grounded.
I think he doesn't have the guts to ask for a divorce, so he's just waiting for her to die at an opportune moment.
1. No because violence isnt the answer, sepcially in these circs. You could end up geting a criminal record and it wont solve anything except making you feel a bit better for a while. He then kicks you out and your mum is trapped with him. Get the anger under control if you wnat to help your mum and yourself.
2. If she ever recovers, then maybe talk to her about whether she wants to divorce him.
3. Comepletely disagree with last melon about trying to keep you in the nest. You know the situation and you know what your mum is like. It sounds like a serious and geuine worry that the condition is the one that will eb her downfall. you need to do soem research so she gets the best treatment and understand what she cna and cant do. You have to get an idea about what you will do with your own life.
Well if my dad said that Id deck him but then think about how it will make your mum feel. I say the time to do it is when your mum isnt around. Thats when you can completely vent out all your anger and rage.Thats when **** gets serious.
He can't kick me out, she owns the house. I've been controlling my anger for years, I hate seeing her suffer with him like this.
Her condition isn't treatable. It's the same one that took her dad. She could have a pacemaker fitted, but it's still (long term) terminal. I work from home anyway, so apart from taking time out to care for her, I haven't had to give up my job. I'll always work from home.
30-04-2016 23:40
He's a rubbish husband father, but its for her to decide if she would prefer to be alone. You have to make up your own mind how long you might want to stay.
If they did get divorced then ownership of property can change, so beware about that. For instance she could be ordered to sell the house. it depends on the finances, so you have to think a few steps ahead.
She want to leave him, but she can't because he's got the main salary, and she had to give up her job last year because of her heart. I bring some money in, but it wouldn't be enough to support both of us. Council tax alone is nearly £3.5k.
I will of course stay as long as she needs me, which at this point is indefinitely.
01-05-2016 00:46
Good for you. She should maybe think on the pros and cons of a divorce though. If its impractical, then thats the oice she has to make. Syill wont solve anything if you use biolence and could make your life very difficult.
01-05-2016 00:49
Very sad to hear what happened today.
I am sorry I cannot give you any meaningful advice
This is actually quite saddening. All I can say is stay with your mother as long as she needs you. If you haven't already, have a long talk with your father.
Should I have punched my father? - The Student Room
Should I have punched my father? watch
30-04-2016 04:58
My mother has a heart condition where she's facing having to have a pacemaker put in. It's the same heart condition that killed her dad.
Today, she had a serious heart arrhythmia and minor arrest, and I came in to help, my dad says "I'll be there in a minute".
When the episode is over, he comes in around 5 minutes later after he's finished his sports program, and says "eh, **** off, just take a chill pill, I'm going to bed."
It was the closest I've come to decking him. Unfortunately, there's still something instinctive there that stops me doing so ever since I knackered his shoulder once during an argument and it hasn't been the same since.
I'm torn. On one hand, I don't want to hurt my dad. On the other hand, I feel like he's just waiting for my mum to die, and doesn't give a crap. It makes me so angry.
You're young. He's learned a lot about life in his time. The idea of asserting authority onto your father is quite obscene really. Just keep helping your mother and reduce your interactions with your father until he lightens up.
30-04-2016 05:51
Actually I'm a graduate and the only reason I moved back home for a while was to take care of my mother because she called to say that she was scared for her health and couldn't trust him to call an ambulance when she has a heart attack.
He's been this way for the last 5 years, at least.
30-04-2016 05:58
Sounds like a desperate attempt to stop you leaving the nest tbh.
If he doesnt call an ambulance he'd be arrested for manslaughter so it does seem like an attempt to keep you grounded.
I think he doesn't have the guts to ask for a divorce, so he's just waiting for her to die at an opportune moment.
1. No because violence isnt the answer, sepcially in these circs. You could end up geting a criminal record and it wont solve anything except making you feel a bit better for a while. He then kicks you out and your mum is trapped with him. Get the anger under control if you wnat to help your mum and yourself.
2. If she ever recovers, then maybe talk to her about whether she wants to divorce him.
3. Comepletely disagree with last melo
n about trying to keep you in the nest. You know the situation and you know what your mum is like. It sounds like a serious and geuine worry that the condition is the one that will eb her downfall. you need to do soem research so she gets the best treatment and understand what she cna and cant do. You have to get an idea about what you will do with your own life.
Well if my dad said that Id deck him but then think about how it will make your mum feel. I say the time to do it is when your mum isnt around. Thats when you can completely vent out all your anger and rage.Thats when **** gets serious.
He can't kick me out, she owns the house. I've been controlling my anger for years, I hate seeing her suffer with him like this.
Her condition isn't treatable. It's the same one that took her dad. She could have a pacemaker fitted, but it's still (long term) terminal. I work from home anyway, so apart from taking time out to care for her, I haven't had to give up my job. I'll always work from home.
30-04-2016 23:40
He's a rubbish husband father, but its for her to decide if she would prefer to be alone. You have to make up your own mind how long you might want to stay.
If they did get divorced then ownership of property can change, so beware about that. For instance she could be ordered to sell the house. it depends on the finances, so you have to think a few steps ahead.
She want to leave him, but she can't because he's got the main salary, and she had to give up her job last year because of her heart. I bring some money in, but it wouldn't be enough to support both of us. Council tax alone is nearly £3.5k.
I will of course stay as long as she needs me, which at this point is indefinitely.
01-05-2016 00:46
Good for you. She should maybe think on the pros and cons of a divorce though. If its impractical, then thats the oice she has to make. Syill wont solve anything if you use biolence and could make your life very difficult.
01-05-2016 00:49
Very sad to hear what happened today.
I am sorry I cannot give you any meaningful advice
This is actually quite saddening. All I can say is stay with your mother as long as she needs you. If you haven't already, have a long talk with your father.