“Three person babies will projectile vomit while their heads spin round” warns church – News Toad
You are here: Home / Health & Lifestyle / “Three person babies will projectile vomit while their heads spin round” warns church“Three person babies will projectile vomit while their heads spin round” warns church January 30, 2015 by themaskedfrog 2 Comments Babies created from three people will have spinning round heads, a tendency to projectile vomit and an absolutely filthy vocabulary according to a spokesman for the Church of England
The Reverend Brendan McCarthy, C of E adviser on medical ethics, said of the process: “We are concerned that this is being thought of as an option without examining all the evidence. We don’t mean the factual scientific evidence, we mean misquoted parts of a two thousand year old book that also argues against gays and shellfish.”
“And also the fact that the babies will be born with horses’ hooves and float above the ground, and the only way to bring them down will be by splashing them with holy water.
“And the people shalt smite and gnash their teeth in woe. For it has been written. Well nearly. I’m writing it at the moment.
“For the Lord is so big and beardy that a tiny bit of DNA brought from a third person makes him truly wrathful even if it does serve to eradicate fatal mitochondrial diseases.”
However a spokesman from the scientific community said that if a baby was born with horses’ hooves it would be a deliberate scientific action rather than accidentally engendering the spawn of Beelzebub.
“The moment we get this legislation past we can start splicing in the the genes of dolphins and baboons and turn Britain into the Isle of Doctor Moreaux. Nice try church.” He explained.
Filed Under: Health & Lifestyle Tagged With: Church of England, comedy, mitochondrial diseases, Satire, science, spoof news, three person babies« UKIP to turn Thanet into an “All inclusive”Tens of people join Pro-austerity marches »Comments
grwalker6 says:	February 1, 2015 at 4:24 PM
Listening to religious professionals for their opinions on genetics is like listening to a UKIP politician for their opinion on migration in Australia- it’s a topic they are naturally biased against yet know nothing about. Being anti this treatment naturally makes them pro disease
Reply	realeyezlife says:	January 30, 2015 at 7:54 PM
“Three person babies will projectile vomit while their heads spin round” warns church – News Toad
You are here: Home / Health & Lifestyle / “Three person babies will projectile vomit while their heads spin round” warns church“Three person babies will projectile vomit while their heads spin round” warns church January 30, 2015 by themaskedfrog 2 Comments Babies created from three people will have spinning round heads, a tendency to projectile vomit and an absolutely filthy vocabulary according to a spokesman for the Church of England
The Reverend Brendan McCarthy, C of E adviser on medical ethics, said of the process: “We are concerned that this is being thought of as an option without examining all the evidence. We don’t mean the factual scientific evidence, we mean misquoted parts of a two thousand year old book that also argues against gays and shellfish.”
“And also the fact that the babies will be born with horses’ hooves and float above the ground, and the only way to bring them down will be by splashing them with holy water.
“And the people shalt smite and gnash their teeth in woe. For it has been written. Well nearly. I’m writing it at the moment.
“For t
he Lord is so big and beardy that a tiny bit of DNA brought from a third person makes him truly wrathful even if it does serve to eradicate fatal mitochondrial diseases.”
However a spokesman from the scientific community said that if a baby was born with horses’ hooves it would be a deliberate scientific action rather than accidentally engendering the spawn of Beelzebub.
“The moment we get this legislation past we can start splicing in the the genes of dolphins and baboons and turn Britain into the Isle of Doctor Moreaux. Nice try church.” He explained.
Filed Under: Health & Lifestyle Tagged With: Church of England, comedy, mitochondrial diseases, Satire, science, spoof news, three person babies« UKIP to turn Thanet into an “All inclusive”Tens of people join Pro-austerity marches »Comments
grwalker6 says:	February 1, 2015 at 4:24 PM
Listening to religious professionals for their opinions on genetics is like listening to a UKIP politician for their opinion on migration in Australia- it’s a topic they are naturally biased against yet know nothing about. Being anti this treatment naturally makes them pro disease
Reply	realeyezlife says:	January 30, 2015 at 7:54 PM