ISIS Agrees to Three-Year War | White House Dossier
The contest will be preceded by at three-month “warmup” period during which ISIS will be permitted to kill as many people in Mosul as possible and plan attacks on the United States. American troops will use the time to try to recoup weapons they were forced to leave in Yemen.
A spokesman for The Nazi Veterans of Dusseldorf spoke wistfully of the three-year war plan. “Oh, if only we had such a plan in place during World War II,” he said. “We’d end the fighting in control of nearly all of Western and Eastern Europe. If only Obama were president then instead of Roosevelt.”
Filed Under: Obama, Satire, Terrorism
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Saturday Open Thread || February 14, 2015 →
35 Responses to ISIS Agrees to Three-Year War
February 13, 2015, 11:15 am at 11:15 am
That was great Keith!! It WAS satire, right?
Excellent Keith. I got knocked off again. I will keep it short. I hope our mil. that did a fine job fighting off the maniacs get to see this article as well.
February 13, 2015, 11:20 am at 11:20 am
That one posted. I was speaking of our military there to train, risked their lives fighting off ISIS. That was I believe 3 miles outside of Al Baghdahi.
Nailed it again, Keith.
February 13, 2015, 11:21 am at 11:21 am
Best satire ever, Keith!
February 13, 2015, 11:32 am at 11:32 am
While 3 years sounds like a reasonable war timeline, perhaps we should check into the specs the Israeli’s used for their 6 Day War.
Six days, win or lose, might work.
Or, PresObama and Iran’s Rouhani could agree to a cage match, IMF rules.
February 13, 2015, 10:09 pm at 10:09 pm
Oh crap! Obama one on one with ANYBODY! He’s toast!! (I can picture Angela Merkel putting him inan arm-bar!!)
I really thought this was a joke until the video.
February 13, 2015, 11:47 am at 11:47 am
A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++.
February 13, 2015, 12:15 pm at 12:15 pm
Fake, but accurate. And hilarious!
Ms. Terry Hanson says:
February 13, 2015, 12:37 pm at 12:37 pm
I want you to know that now for past 2 days I’m getting all your e-mails! Thank you! And I like your new website! Very nice!
February 13, 2015, 12:57 pm at 12:57 pm
What a load of crap – Obama is delusional & just plain stupid.
February 13, 2015, 1:18 pm at 1:18 pm
From his pea-sized brain to the intranet blogosphere.
I had a hard time identifying if this was satire or how the doofus really thinks. /sarc.
February 13, 2015, 1:34 pm at 1:34 pm
The surrendering bit sure sounds like something Obama would do.
February 13, 2015, 1:37 pm at 1:37 pm
Love this. I have to forward it to my friends with the disclaimer, “this is satire”.
February 13, 2015, 3:11 pm at 3:11 pm
I haven’t read anything this good in years. The Onion comes close and the Dufflebog fails entirely, but this, now…this was masterclass.
February 13, 2015, 3:17 pm at 3:17 pm
No one in the Obama regime has any clue or interest in ‘national security & defense’ concerns.
February 13, 2015, 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm
OT: Notice the magazine cover on
February 13, 2015, 4:16 pm at 4:16 pm
Another masterful piece of satire.
I don’t know what you’re eating for breakfast, Keith, but you should consider sharing the menu.
February 13, 2015, 4:22 pm at 4:22 pm
Brilliant, Keith! A thin line between satire and reality in this case. Hope Der Doofus has a chance to look this over while he is luxuriating in CA.
February 13, 2015, 7:42 pm at 7:42 pm
How much are the tickets? Are we allowed to drink beer? Seems like you should get paid for a front row seat…right?
February 13, 2015, 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm
February 13, 2015, 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm
While I agree with your missive on how the ONE is wanting to/going to handle this new “war” in the Middle East, you have forgotten one major factor influencing Obama’s outlook on any kind of “competition.” Obama comes from a generation where everyone plays, and everyone gets a trophy.
With that in mind, I would like to make some suggestions to our dear leader on how this war can be fought, and then after a period of exchanges be brought to an amicable conclusion.
First, to even out the playing field, and in the name of fairness, all US ground troops will be required to a bright orange vest while in the field of battle. This will give ISIS fighters warning as to the approach of any US troops, thereby allowing them to prepare for the battle engagement.
Second, again in the name of fairness, all US troops will be required to carry ammunition wherein every other round is a blank. Again, this will provide the opposing team an opportunity to have a fair fight. Any ISIS fighter that is injured during a battle will be allowed to have US medical treatment, and then be returned to his group. This will ensure that the fighting remains balanced at all times, and the US military is not taking unfair advantage of its advanced support operations.
At the end of the three years of operations, both sides will declare a truce, and all US forces will return to their home bases. In order to promote good feelings amongst the ISIS fighters, team ISIS will be rewarded trophies that will include all of Iraq, Syria, Jordan, and Egypt. Israel will be semi retained by the West, however they will then be the next match up for ISIS, with that “game’s” rules to be determined at a later date, however it is predicted that the ISIS v Israel game will be short lived, with Israel being declared the winner, and ISIS and all of its controlled lands being turned into a giant glass factory, and SPF 1,000,000 sunscreen will be needed by ISIS fighters.
February 14, 2015, 7:23 am at 7:23 am
Shofar, I started to take notes regardin the every other round etc., than realized it must be a satire as well.
One note: I am the same age as him. I was taught to grow up and do for myself, just like my parents and grandparents. :)
I mentioned the other day, it was sad a person in his position was the same age as me.
February 14, 2015, 7:19 am at 7:19 am
I read the headline and thought I’d woken up in Bizarro World. Oh wait…we’re already there! Great satire, Keith.
February 14, 2015, 9:13 am at 9:13 am
Mr. Koffler, I love your satire, but it’s losing an edge on the humor because it seems all too plausible these days…
February 14, 2015, 12:39 pm at 12:39 pm
Good thing there’s a “satire” tag on this post! It’s getting more and more difficult to distinguish between satire and the sad reality these days.
Patty California says:
February 14, 2015, 2:57 pm at 2:57 pm
This is too great! I am an elderly fan of Keith – I am posting copies of this ISIS war article in my old folks home. I am hoping none of us will have heart attacks and die.
February 14, 2015, 4:44 pm at 4:44 pm
Another brilliant satirical article.
705 days remaining !!!!
February 14, 2015, 10:48 pm at 10:48 pm
Had to be satire. BHO in Palm Beach, Fla for the weekend. It’s High Season there now.He’s with all the high rollers.
February 15, 2015, 9:04 am at 9:04 am
President Bush predicted Iraq would fall to bigger terrorist group if Obama pulled all of our troops out of Iraq without leaving a contingency force in place.
https://thesamiam60report.wordpress.com/2015/02/15/is-barack-obama-americas-biggest-terrorism-threat/
February 15, 2015, 5:45 pm at 5:45 pm
Thanks everyone for the kind comments. Glad you enjoyed.
February 15, 2015, 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm
‘We the people’ have hired, and pay exorbitant wages to, the worse employees in the history of this nation.
When the HE!! are we going wake up to the fact that they work for US and fire them because they are counter productive?
debt include says:
February 16, 2015, 1:49 am at 1:49 am
February 17, 2015, 11:00 am at 11:00 am
THE BEST PART ??????????
HE WILL BE GONE THE LAST YEAR
NO DOUBT APPEASING MUSLIMS: AS HE NOW DOES
ISIS Agrees to Three-Year War | White House Dossier
The contest will be preceded by at three-month “warmup” period during which ISIS will be permitted to kill as many people in Mosul as possible and plan attacks on the United States. American troops will use the time to try to recoup weapons they were forced to leave in Yemen.
A spokesman for The Nazi Veterans of Dusseldorf spoke wistfully of the three-year war plan. “Oh, if only we had such a plan in place during World War II,” he said. “We’d end the fighting in control of nearly all of Western and Eastern Europe. If only Obama were president then instead of Roosevelt.”
Filed Under: Obama, Satire, Terrorism
← Obama Schedule || Friday, February 13, 2015
Saturday Open Thread || February 14, 2015 →
35 Responses to ISIS Agrees to Three-Year War
February 13, 2015, 11:15 am at 11:15 am
That was great Keith!! It WAS satire, right?
Excellent Keith. I got knocked off again. I will keep it short. I hope our mil. that did a fine job fighting off the maniacs get to see this article as well.
February 13, 2015, 11:20 am at 11:20 am
That one posted. I was speaking of our military there to train, risked their lives fighting off ISIS. That was I believe 3 miles outside of Al Baghdahi.
Nailed it again, Keith.
February 13, 2015, 11:21 am at 11:21 am
Best satire ever, Keith!
February 13, 2015, 11:32 am at 11:32 am
While 3 years sounds like a reasonable war timeline, perhaps we should check into the specs the Israeli’s used for their 6 Day War.
Six days, win or lose, might work.
Or, PresObama and Iran’s Rouhani could agree to a cage match, IMF rules.
February 13, 2015, 10:09 pm at 10:09 pm
Oh crap! Obama one on one with ANYBODY! He’s toast!! (I can picture Angela Merkel putting him inan arm-bar!!)
I really thought this was a joke until the video.
February 13, 2015, 11:47 am at 11:47 am
A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++.
February 13, 2015, 12:15 pm at 12:15 pm
Fake, but accurate. And hilarious!
Ms. Terry Hanson says:
February 13, 2015, 12:37 pm at 12:37 pm
I want you to know that now for past 2 days I’m getting all your e-mails! Thank you! And I like your new website! Very nice!
February 13, 2015, 12:57 pm at 12:57 pm
What a load of crap – Obama is delusional & just plain stupid.
February 13, 2015, 1:18 pm at 1:18 pm
From his pea-sized brain to the intranet blogosphere.
I had a hard time identifying if this was satire or how the doofus really thinks. /sarc.
February 13, 2015, 1:34 pm at 1:34 pm
The surrendering bit sure sounds like something Obama would do.
February 13, 2015, 1:37 pm at 1:37 pm
Love this. I have to forward it to my friends with the disclaimer, “this is satire”.
February 13, 2015, 3:11 pm at 3:11 pm
I haven’t read anything this good in years. The Onion comes close and the Dufflebog fails entirely, but this, now…this was masterclass.
February 13, 2015, 3:17 pm at 3:17 pm
No one in the Obama regime has any clue or interest in ‘national security & defense’ concerns.
February 13, 2015, 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm
OT: Notice the magazine cover on
February 13, 2015, 4:16 pm at 4:16 pm
Another masterful piece of satire.
I don’t know what you’re eating for breakfast, Keith, but you should consider sharing the menu.
February 13, 2015, 4:22 pm at 4:22 pm
Brilliant, Keith! A thin line between satire and reality in this case. Hope Der Doofus has a chance to look this over while he is luxuriating in CA.
February 13, 2015, 7:42 pm at 7:42 pm
How much are the tickets? Are we allowed to drink beer? Seems like you should get paid for a front row seat…right?
February 13, 2015, 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm
February 13, 2015, 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm
While I agree with your missive on how the ONE is wanting to/going to handle this new “war” in the Middle East, you have forgotten one major factor influencing Obama’s outlook on any kind of “competition.” Obama comes from a generation where everyone plays
, and everyone gets a trophy.
With that in mind, I would like to make some suggestions to our dear leader on how this war can be fought, and then after a period of exchanges be brought to an amicable conclusion.
First, to even out the playing field, and in the name of fairness, all US ground troops will be required to a bright orange vest while in the field of battle. This will give ISIS fighters warning as to the approach of any US troops, thereby allowing them to prepare for the battle engagement.
Second, again in the name of fairness, all US troops will be required to carry ammunition wherein every other round is a blank. Again, this will provide the opposing team an opportunity to have a fair fight. Any ISIS fighter that is injured during a battle will be allowed to have US medical treatment, and then be returned to his group. This will ensure that the fighting remains balanced at all times, and the US military is not taking unfair advantage of its advanced support operations.
At the end of the three years of operations, both sides will declare a truce, and all US forces will return to their home bases. In order to promote good feelings amongst the ISIS fighters, team ISIS will be rewarded trophies that will include all of Iraq, Syria, Jordan, and Egypt. Israel will be semi retained by the West, however they will then be the next match up for ISIS, with that “game’s” rules to be determined at a later date, however it is predicted that the ISIS v Israel game will be short lived, with Israel being declared the winner, and ISIS and all of its controlled lands being turned into a giant glass factory, and SPF 1,000,000 sunscreen will be needed by ISIS fighters.
February 14, 2015, 7:23 am at 7:23 am
Shofar, I started to take notes regardin the every other round etc., than realized it must be a satire as well.
One note: I am the same age as him. I was taught to grow up and do for myself, just like my parents and grandparents. :)
I mentioned the other day, it was sad a person in his position was the same age as me.
February 14, 2015, 7:19 am at 7:19 am
I read the headline and thought I’d woken up in Bizarro World. Oh wait…we’re already there! Great satire, Keith.
February 14, 2015, 9:13 am at 9:13 am
Mr. Koffler, I love your satire, but it’s losing an edge on the humor because it seems all too plausible these days…
February 14, 2015, 12:39 pm at 12:39 pm
Good thing there’s a “satire” tag on this post! It’s getting more and more difficult to distinguish between satire and the sad reality these days.
Patty California says:
February 14, 2015, 2:57 pm at 2:57 pm
This is too great! I am an elderly fan of Keith – I am posting copies of this ISIS war article in my old folks home. I am hoping none of us will have heart attacks and die.
February 14, 2015, 4:44 pm at 4:44 pm
Another brilliant satirical article.
705 days remaining !!!!
February 14, 2015, 10:48 pm at 10:48 pm
Had to be satire. BHO in Palm Beach, Fla for the weekend. It’s High Season there now.He’s with all the high rollers.
February 15, 2015, 9:04 am at 9:04 am
President Bush predicted Iraq would fall to bigger terrorist group if Obama pulled all of our troops out of Iraq without leaving a contingency force in place.
https://thesamiam60report.wordpress.com/2015/02/15/is-barack-obama-americas-biggest-terrorism-threat/
February 15, 2015, 5:45 pm at 5:45 pm
Thanks everyone for the kind comments. Glad you enjoyed.
February 15, 2015, 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm
‘We the people’ have hired, and pay exorbitant wages to, the worse employees in the history of this nation.
When the HE!! are we going wake up to the fact that they work for US and fire them because they are counter productive?
debt include says:
February 16, 2015, 1:49 am at 1:49 am
February 17, 2015, 11:00 am at 11:00 am
THE BEST PART ??????????
HE WILL BE GONE THE LAST YEAR
NO DOUBT APPEASING MUSLIMS: AS HE NOW DOES